Both men and women crave an emotional secure connection. This is being in a true state of love. When couples have this bond, they are emotionally dependent on each other for soothing, nurturing and safety.
Emotionally focussed couples therapy(EFT) can help you to strengthen this bond. We are wired to need emotional contact and support from our partners. This force is the survival response that an infant seeks from their mother. The same need never goes away as we enter adulthood.
The human brain sees physical and emotional isolation as dangerous. Once we have a safe connection to our partner, we can weather the storms that a relationship will inevitably bring.
Losing the close bond with our partner can give us a huge sense of insecurity. The primitive emotions of fear and panic can set in. We can quickly act on this – lashing out verbally or taking action in other ways that are destructive to the relationship.
Communication and Expression
We can become disconnected from our partner when we do not understand each other’s needs. Work commitments, raising children, differences of optionand the inevitable stresses that life brings can lead us to feel neglected and uncared for. Emotional focused therapycan help us to re-form that feeling of love and safety that comes from knowing that our partner is there for us.
Creating healthy boundaries is a fine art. Too many boundaries can lead to disconnection. It is common for a new mother’s attention on a new baby to create a feeling of abandonment in their spouse. One partner working too much can lead to a feeling of neglect in the other. Communicating our needs and feelings, and understanding your partner will bring back that feeling of security.
EFT Couples Therapy
In EFT couples therapy attachment issues are addressed. We work with you to go through the surface emotions, the perceived lack of caring, and the blame and anger that so often come up when there are relationship problems caused by attachment issues.
Emotionally focused couples therapy will allow you to work through any emotional and attachment issues that you may have in your marriage. Our qualified and caring therapists at Something More Counsellingcan help you to redevelop that feeling of love and security.